If i come over, it means nothing
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
