thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
