I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
