Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
