I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
is that a dick in a sweater?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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