my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
