Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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