New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
