she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
