Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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