oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
