Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
