You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
