he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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