i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize