I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
