i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
