it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
