You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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