The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
