Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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