There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
