just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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