I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's shark week go big or go home
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
