Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
