Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
