My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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