Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
operation harelip BJ is a go
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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