if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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