thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize