I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
