Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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