DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
