That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
