Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
