Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My dick has a subreddit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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