people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
