Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
