my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
