No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So much rum. So many feels.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize