M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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