Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
