My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
