Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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