I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
