4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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