it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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