i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
