I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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