i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
