pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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