Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
