You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
