my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize