I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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