Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize