sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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