It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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