that's an acceptable place to lick
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize