my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
