i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
