I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
