I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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