She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
